Chains
by UchihaYumiko
Summary: She was dead, his heart was broken and I just wanted to be free. Was I too selfish? - Shadow! Yosuke POV


He had me locked up until now. But every wall he has built to lock up his insecurities has been debilitating since the moment he knew Saki was dead. He just needed an extra push to set me free.  
-I... never had a chance to say it...-  
A voice interrupted "his" -or more like "my"- inner monologue about the photography. Both of us recognized that voice as Saki's.  
"Wasn't she dead?" "What's going on here?" "What's this world" "Is it really related to the murders". "His" mind was a storm of questions without any answer and "his" face twisted a little in response to that confusion.  
-Is that's...senpai's voice?- "he" exclamed as wanting to eliminate any doubt. "He" knows "he" may be hearing things and wanted to confirm that with Yu and Teddie.  
-I always wanted to tell Hana-chan...- the voice resounded in the room again and I could feel how his excitement and expectation were increasing. How disgusting! Was "he" expecting a confession? Even if that was the case, it would be useless. She was dead...and she wasn't even that hot nor our feelings towards her so strong, anyway. Just a crush that we both can forget about.  
-Huh...? Me...?- "he" asked and I started to feel sick. Of course it's you, dumbass. Who else could be?  
-...that he was a real pain in the ass-  
I could feel how his heart was breaking bit by bit. And anything else mattered to him...Perfect. That was the extra push that I needed. I could finally be free. I could be more than a shadow, more than a little ignored puppet.  
Even when I separated from him, I still could hear her thoughts and feel his feelings. It was really annoying to admit that...but we were one. It couldn't be possible to be free that easily.  
Then, I comprehended...maybe if he rejected me, I could have my yearned freedom.  
I didn't even considered separating from him until a little while ago. Locked up in my own unconcious, I would be treated as if I didn't exist. It really bored me. Even when I could hear "me" having fun, making new friends. I felt a little jealous...  
-I was nice to him just because he was the store's manager son, that's all- she proceeded -But he takes it completely the wrong way and gets all enthusiastic...What a dip-  
I've always known it. I wonder how he didn't suspect a thing. Everyone is like that. No one is selflessly nice to me.  
-P-Pain in the ass...?- his usual and false easy-going attitude was breaking down and it seems like he wanted to cry but tried to seem strong... I couldn't be deceived by that facade.  
-Who cares about Junes, anyway? Because of that store, our business is ruined, my parents hate me, the neighbors talk behind my back...  
I wish everything just dissapear...-  
Indeed, I have to admit she had a point. Junes is the reason everyone take adventage of me. If I wasn't the store's manager son, no one didn't have a reason to do that. I guess I could trust in the people a little more.  
-I-It's a lie...This can't be... Senpai's not like that- he shouted, trying to delude the truth.  
I had been hidden until now but I decided it was time to show up and trying to talk to him.  
-It's- I sniffed -so sad... I feel so sorry for myself... Boo hoo- I laughed at my other self's situation.  
-Actually, I'm the one who think everything is a pain in the ass. Hahaha...-  
-Huh, two Yosukes?- Teddie asked surprised.  
-Who are you? I-I wouldn't think that...-  
Then, why would you stutter?  
-Hahaha...Yeah, right. How long are you gonna keep deluding yourself? Screw the shopping district, and Junes too!- I shouted angrily at him. I've always wanted to say it but he hadn't let me until now -You're sick of everything, especially living out in the sticks- I'm sick of everything.  
-What're you saying...? That's not true, I-  
I didn't allow him to continue with his stupid theater and I keeped talking -You put on a good show of being carefree and happy-go-lucky 'cause you're so terrified of being alone.- Yet, you ignore me and let me alone...  
-The more, the merrier, right? You've gotta be surrounded by people to block out the pain of isolation.  
And what's this about checking out this world for Saki's senpai sake? Hah! I know the real reason you came snooping...-  
-S-Stop it!- He was so terrified about how true was what I was saying that it was funny.  
-Hahaha! Why so panicked? I thought I was just spouting bullshit! Or maybe... I DO know everything you're thinking! Why's that? Because I AM you!- Just acept me or reject me. Don't throw me at that prison again, please.  
-You just came here because you thought it sounded like a good time! What else is there to do out in this shit hole?  
A world inside the TV- now that's exciting! You didn't have a single other reason for coming here, did you!?- Just admit it. You didn't have another reason.  
-That's not true...Stop...Stop it...- He begged. He didn't want his friends to know his true feeling, did he? They should know what an asshole he is!  
-You're just trying to act like a big shot... If all went well, hey, maybe you could even be a hero!  
And that senpai you were so sweet on? Her death was the perfect excuse!- I knew I was being too harsh on him but it was necessary to touch his weak spots.  
-That's not true! What's are you!? Who are you!?-  
I chuckled, he didn't believe me. I was expecting something like that -I already told ya. I'm you... Your shadow... There's nothing I don't know about you!-  
-Screw that! I don't know you! You can't be me, you son of a bitch!- he yelled  
Finally, he finally had said it! I started to feel how the power was flooding me. And I laughed of joy. I could finally be myself!  
-That's right! Say it again!-  
-You're not me! You're nothing like me!-  
-Yeah, that's right! I'm me now. I'm not you anymore, see?- I told to him and my form changed. It was expected. After all, I wasn't chained to him anymore and I had no reason to conserve his form.  
After that, Yu stepped in front of me to fight against me. What a meddlesome kid! Did he want to protect him that much?  
The fight was really intense. That kiddo was really strong, although he didn't seem it. Yet, I guess the passion he was fighting for his friend helped me to understand not all the people are like I thought they were...  
-Yosuke, are you okay!?- Teddie asked to him... It'd be nice to have someone to worry for you like that.  
-Y-Yeah...What... happened...?-  
-...- it seems like I was on my original form again. I was just lying in the floor. I had no wounds. I didn't have the ability to have them, yet I guess it that's how they would feel like to have them.  
-You're... you're... not me-  
-That thing came from you, Yosuke... You have to admit it... or it'll go berserk again...-  
-You're still yourself- Yu murmured to him and he calmed a little bit.  
-Myself... Dammit... it hurts to face yourself...- he put in front of me and started talking to me - I knew it wasn't lying... But I was so ashamed that I didn't want to admit... You're me... and I0m you. When you get down to it, all of this is me-  
Indeed, I yearned for my own freedom but on the other hand I wanted to be accepted. Does that even make any sense? I don't know...but I don't care either.  
Thou art I and I am thou. "Everything is gonna be alright, I'll always be by your side. Because I AM you" I think as I transfigure into Jiraiya.


End file.
